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Ceremony

A marriage is not completed until a ceremony is performed. The issuance of a marriage license is written permission from the state allowing a couple to marry. However, until the ceremony takes place, a legal marriage does not exist.

Can only a judge or pastor/priest marry us?

No. Laws allow for several types of officials to perform marriages, including:

  • the mayor of a city;
  • military chaplains (if one member of the couple is in the military);
  • the city clerk in very large cities; and
  • a marriage "officer" appointed by a city council.

We belong to a religion that is not generally recognized. Can our minister marry us?

Yes. Generally, a spiritual leader chosen by a spiritual group to preside over the congregation is recognized by the law as someone with the authority to conduct a marriage ceremony.

Our yoga teacher conducts marriages during class. If he marries us, is our marriage valid?

Not unless the yoga teacher is authorized to marry people, i.e., he meets the criteria for officials entitled to perform marriages.

We were married by a person whom we have since found out did not have the authority to marry us. Is our marriage valid?

Not unless you live in a state that recognizes common law marriages. Laws require that authorized persons must conduct the ceremony in order for the marriage to be valid.

Can a ship's captain marry us?

No. Unless the ship's captain is a judge or a minister, he or she does not have the authority to marry at sea. In fact, U.S. Navy regulations specifically forbid commanding officers from performing marriages.

TIP: If you were married on a ship by the captain and believe the marriage is valid, you may have a common law marriage in states that recognize them.

Are there any requirements as to what must be said or recited during a marriage ceremony?

No. Laws generally do not require any specific oaths, recitals, vows or responses during the ceremony.

Can a marriage ceremony be performed if one of the parties is unable to be present?

Yes. The absent party can appear through a proxy – a person he or she has authorized to take his or her place. The marriage is presumed valid if it is valid in the country that performs the ceremony. However, before the ceremony can be conducted with a proxy, the absent party must execute a power of attorney naming a person as his or her proxy for the purposes of a marriage ceremony.

TIP: Only a few states in the United States allow marriage by proxy. Before attempting to enter into one, research the laws of the state in which you plan to be married.

Can we be legally married without witnesses?

Yes. The absence of witnesses to the ceremony does not make your marriage illegal or invalid.

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